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Johnny Klister Found in Fairbanks (Exclusive Interview)

One of Johnny Klister's Oct. 2013 posts: "When Lex Treinen grows up, he’s clearly going to be the President of Russia." Klister is now living in the same state as Treinen -- not that far from Russia.

One of Johnny Klister’s Oct. 2013 posts: “When Lex Treinen grows up, he’s clearly going to be the President of Russia.” Klister is now living in the same state as Treinen — not that far from Russia.

A FasterSkier investigation has revealed that Johnny Klister, the former internet cross-country ski publishing sensation, has fled his former life and is now living off-the-grid in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Property records show that a John E. Klister purchased a cabin off Ester Dome Road in Fairbanks, where a reporter located him this spring wearing a mankini while swinging in a hammock along with a scantily clad Sylvan Ellefson, the American cross-country skiing star who had not been seen since winning the U.S. Nationals 30-kilometer championship in January.

In an interview, Klister told FasterSkier that the stress from the fast-paced ski publishing lifestyle had gotten to him.

“Trying to keep up with the output of Noah Hoffman’s blog was impossible. I was drinking 12 cups of coffee a day, pounding a dozen gels, and huffing xenon gas before bed to keep from losing my edge,” Klister said. “None of it worked. That kid is a goddamned blogging machine.”

The former best-selling internet ski author seemed at peace with his new lifestyle. His is writing a memoir, tentatively titled, Klister: Sex, Drugs, and Cold Powder in the Cross-Country Ski World.

With a large plot of land outside of Fairbanks, he is an avid cabbage And root Gardiner.

Ellefson hitchhiked to Alaska following in the footsteps of Christopher McCandless, vowing to test his nordic skills in the land of the midnight sun.

Tracing the hoofprints of a Dall sheep, he found himself on Klister’s property staring into a double-barreled shotgun.

Ellefson recognized Klister’s trademark mankini, and the two celebrated with a happy reunion at Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn.

Ellefson has no immediate plans to return to work, thanks to the $750,000 he won by betting all of his national championship winnings on the 1,000 to 1 odds that Aku Nikander would win the 50 k national title in March.

What?

Comments

  1. Tim Kelley says:

    Actually, a long time ago this scenario actually happened to Johnny Klister’s “grandfather”. A ski racer in the 70′s became an avid Nordic skiing writer with his finger on the pulse of US Nordic skiing. And like JK, he had Midd College connections. Long ago he sequestered himself to the birch forests of Fairbanks, and never left. He still remains a revered Nordic skiing bard. And I would bet that he is no stranger to Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn. His name is Johnny Klister Estle.

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