Editor's Note: The following article was recently submitted to us by an author who wished not to be named (read: embarrased). While FasterSkier.com certainly doesn't condone this behavior due to its ill effects on performance, we do find it amusing to watch the suffering during the workout on the morning after.
A Reminder to Those who have Reached the Age of Majority.
On a recent weekend night, I enjoyed myself A Lot. We went to someone’s birthday party, then to the bars, and then to a little club named Stars. Like many of you, Sunday morning is my OD workout for the week. And thus, I have learned my lesson and maybe I can help prevent you from experiencing the same.
10) It takes forever to get ready because your boot won’t seem to fit on your right footâ€”because
it’s the left boot.
9) Your headache makes it impossible to enjoy the scenery of the rollerski, or to enjoy anything for that matter.
8) Dehydration: Your mouth is dry, you feel hot, and you crave waterâ€”not good feelings before a 2.5 skate roll.
7) Time Dilation: When you’re hungover, time creeps by ever so slowly and you find that only 5 minutes have passed since the last time you checked your watch to see if the ski is almost over yet.
6) Your stomach is more tumultuous than the streets of Baghdad, preventing you from eating anything all day except one orange creamsicle at 3 p.m.â€”hours after the rollerski is over.
5) The foggy haze that is your memory of the night before forces you to piece together the details of the poor decisions made.
4) Your hangover leaves you less coordinated than a 7 year old, flailing your poles wildly and trying not to fall into the traffic.
3) And for some reason, that traffic is horrifically loud. Every car that passes feels like your head is being smashed into a wall.
2) You got up for the workout so late that it’s now past noon and hotter than the streets of Baghdad.
And the #1 reason not to drink the night before a rollerski: Because you know you’re so dehydrated, you immediately start pounding water from your Camelback at the beginning of your ski. Half an hour later you find yourself at the side of the road, puking up (or booting, if you’re in the east) that same water all over your race boots And you still have 2 hours left in the workout.