no regrets
In the journey of life as a cross country ski racer, the road is not paved in gold. You will not be led down the path by smiling people who carry your 80 pound ski bag and want to rub your feet after the stroll.
No, sometimes the path is more like the vast Canadian wilderness as seen on ‘Mantracker’. The road is steep, the wild animals are hungry, the river crossings are dangerous, and sometimes the road vanishes and all there is to do is bush-whack through the unforgiving forest to try to find your way. But these struggles as we go through life are what make us who we are. It makes us appreciate where we end up because we earned our place there. When we fall, we pick ourselves back up and keep heading forward. We don’t lay down in the dirt feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we aim for a certain destination but end up somewhere else, but we still had our adventure.
I have dedicated myself to ski racing for the last decade of my life, and in the last year and a half I have had 3 surgeries on my lower legs. I have a total of 8 6-inch scars from my knees down where scalpels have cut open my legs. I have spent weeks where just walking to the bathroom a few times a day was painful enough to bring tears to my eyes. My half a block hobble was just as hard of fought journey as winning any of my national titles. Coming back from all of that has been a painful and hard fought journey. I wanted so badly for everything to come together this winter and to make my second Olympic team … I did the best I could, but I didn’t make it. It’s defiantly heartbreaking to dedicate yourself to something so completely and to not reach your goals. But I know I gave it my absolute best shot, and for that I have no regrets.
