Tour de Ski Day 2 — A to Zeller

FasterSkierDecember 30, 20111

Tour de Ski Day 2 — A to Zeller

A – Axel:   the Diesel Engine is back. He seems to have awakened from his nap of the last year.

B – Big:    Four BIG hills per 3 km lap. An anonymous Fasterskier reporter skied 6 laps beforehand and proceeded to tap out…Herring boning in front of World Cup fans is poor form.

C – Crash:    Men’s race, 200m before the finish. Talk about a cluster…

D – Davord:   He gets the ‘most comments’ award for the Tour de Ski thus far. If you have a technique question, ask Davord

E – Expletives:   A few of these were used by top skiers when describing their races…ie, “my skis bleep bleep!”   Really guys? ….how about words like ‘gnar, sick, baller, shredadocious, or …….. ‘

F – Forecast:  Impressive work by the weather forecasters.  They said the snow would stop by race time…. And it did.  Nice.

G – Gnar:    Not sure why we picked this word for today.   It just sounds cool…Gnar…Sick Gnar.  That was the Gnarliest crash. Gnar…isn’t that some YouTube video about skiing at SquallyWood?

H – Hairies:    These were tested with all the other voodoo 0 degree kick combinations today.

I – Italy:    The men’s team nailed the kick…(what it was, that was a mystery…).  I guess the opposite could be “Iced”….which describes the Finnish women’s skis halfway through the race.  Top secret beta from Caldwell.

J – Justyna:   (Kowalczyk)…once again, the queen.  But, this time, over the other Norwegian speedster, Theresa Johaug.

K – Kick Wax:  32 degrees.   Mmmmm…what a nut-roll…

L – Lapped:   Ukrainian men’s skier Ivan Bilosyuk was pulled as he started on his final and fifth lap…getting lapped. Dude, we feel for you. Ivan, you are still a fast skier.

M – Man:  The Man. Elder Roenning.  Fastest classic split of the day. He moved up from 57th place to 5th place today. THE Man.

N – New:  Devon Kershaw was on a brand new pair of skis…And they didn’t work for him.

O – Oberstdorf:  The next stop for the Tour—day 3 (classic sprint) and day 4 (pursuit).

P – Pursuit:   The race of choice for the day…

Q – Quote:  (of the day).    Overheard in the press room this morning, a comment from Justyna (Ms. Controversial?) from her Prologue race:  “I’m not used to having such fast skis!” Poor Polish wax techs…we feel for you.

R – Reese Hanneman:   Keep tweetin’ the daily A to Zeller! Fasterskier’s superfan.

S – Snoop Dogg:    Yes, D-O-double G. Canadian Head Ski Coach Justin Wadsworth told FasterSkier this morning that the ‘rockstar’ bus they are renting was previously used for Snoop Dogg right before they picked it up for the Tour De Ski.   Hmmm?  I wonder if the bus still smells like weed?

T – Testing:   Be thankful that YOU were not a kick wax technician today at the races.  Ugly. Stressful. Challenging. Seriously, maybe flipping a coin would have been the best way to select skis…

U – Uber:   It just sounds cool. German for ‘super’ (or something like that….). Hey, so and so skier was uber impressive today. Since Teichman won, does that make him the UberMensch?

V – Vegetable Soup:    The media soup-of-the-day with hotdogs added for Wiener Schnitzel flavor and potatoes to help remember Scandinavian roots.

W – Wind:    Does it ever not blow 20 mph here?  I swear…

X – Xtra Tuffs:   The muck boots. Sure would have been nice to have a pair today in the parking lot.  Sloppy, wet, muddy, gnarly (see, we used that word, again). These aren’t just appropriate for Alaska weather…Can’t you envision Bjoergen wearing these to a press conference, and then all of Norway would want a pair?

Y – Yell:   Yes, this is what happens when one runs across the trail in front of a course marshal here. “Ich spreche nicht so gut Deutsch!”…just keep running!

Z – Zeller:    Katrin had an excellent race today, posting the eighth fastest time, and skiing up to ninth from 26th.


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One comment

  • zimborst

    December 30, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    You got it covered, Rob; gnarly reporting! Keep it up. Don’t forget beer fits easily in the alphabet too. And give our best wishes to Holly whose turn will come!

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