22 and old as dirt… well sort of?

cmalcolmJune 4, 2012

 “22 going on 80: A Whole Lot of Ways Biathlon has Made Me an Old Lady”

  • I have a bed time. And it is early… like… ’10pm is hours past it’ sort of early.
  • All my injuries are related to falling down.
  • I get cranky if I miss my afternoon nap.
  • Velcro waist bands.
  • I have, in fact, cried out, “Ow ow oooow! My hip! My hip!!!”
  • I am always cold. Seriously why am I always so cold!?
  • I am only capable of knitting really ugly things.
  • Most foods are too oily, salty, or sweet for me… but I will never turn down ice cream.
  • My joints frequently ache, creek, and pop.
  • I can’t touch my toes. 
  • One drink and I am just like your Grandma Betty at Thanksgiving… asleep on the couch.
  • I understand the convenience of velcro shoes.
  • At the first sign of the sniffles I will proclaim to everyone within ear shot that I have most definitely “caught death.”
  • I appreciate foods that do not need to be chewed. Apple sauce, yogurt, mash potatoes… 
  • Walking up a flight of stairs is frequently a challenge.
  • I have a strange affinity for really ugly (but oh so cozy) socks.
  • The only thing separating life in the OTC from assisted living is a curtain between you and your room mate and a emergency button by the toilet.
    *Seriously, all your friends live down the hall, hot meals are served three times a day, and alcohol is not allowed on campus. 
  • It is way past my bed time.  Goodnight.



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